11 introverts reveal how you can still be introverted and meet your significant other

introverts - couple on beach

We’ve said it before, but being introverted is a great thing!

Introverts truly embrace who they are and they are better for it as a result.

An introvert embraces who he/she really is. An introvert works and takes pride in their output, they connect well with others on an emotional level, they have the ability to determine what truly matters to a person, and they understand that the difference between success and failure lies in the actions we take.

BUT, if there’s one area where being introverted can be frustrated it’s in dating – a space where being bold, outgoing and flirtatious has its advantages.

So, we wanted to know…

How can you be an introvert and still find your significant other?

These are 11 quick stories from several self-proclaimed introverts and how they came to meet their significant other.

introverts - couple on lake

1. Be bold

We’re both introverts, but I definitely can force myself to be bold. I was a waitress at a restaurant he came into. He asked to borrow my pen, I told him “only if you write down your number.”

Sometimes introvert guys need a girl who is not afraid to make the first move.

We’ve been together almost 14 years now. (/u/KlvrDissident)

2. Be honest

I told her, “If I weren’t so socially inept, I’d be trying to have a conversation with you.”

Married almost 9 years. (/u/Moni3)

3. Go shopping.

I met my husband while I was shopping. I spent a good six weeks buying incredibly overpriced avocados from the shop he works at and then after coincidently winning at ‘fruit box weekly draw’ I added him on FB (through the shops FB page, minor stalker alert here) and just asked him out.

And here we are, a year later, married.

Bonus, The avocados are now free. (/u/NZ-Food-Girl)

4. Be clever on Tinder.

Tinder. His picture was him hanging upside down from a tree and his bio said “proof that nerds grow on trees“. We both made it clear we were looking for a relationship, met up the day we matched for coffee, hit it off, and that was that. (/u/zlae)

5. Realize.

Both of us work at a grocery store. I saw her and thought that she was the cutest there but never really did anything about it. She works as a cashier and I work in produce. She would always do the reshop and I soon realized that she was doing that for a reason and started flirting with her back.

We have been together 11 months now. (/u/Smirking_Sheep)

6. At the gym

I’m a female… but I am very introverted. I met my now husband at the gym, I would always work out with my brother and my now husband thought I was dating my brother because we were always at the gym together (ew). When he asked my brother how long we had been dating, we both looked at each other and said “uhh.. we’re sibling so never…” He asked my brother if we could all work out sometime and I went full on awkward when we did.

He was showing me a new work out and he almost smashed my face in with a dumbbell, I walked off because I was so embarrassed and started working out alone then he asked me out to lunch and we hit it off. (/u/beatbox28)

7. Dog watching?

She came over to me in a coffeeshop while she was on vacation in my country, to ask how to tip. We had a two-hour conversation, and then an amazing five-hour lunch two days later.

She complained about her hostel and I offered her my spare bedroom. She accepted. Nothing happened although it seems crystal-clear in retrospect that we were falling for each other (duh). I didn’t want to be douchey and make her feel uncomfortable under my roof, so putting the moves on her was not something I seriously considered.

Two nights later, I had to be gone for most of the night, on a work assignment, and I asked if she would please watch and walk my dog in my absence. I came home at 5 a.m. and was greeted by my suddenly very soft, very fluffy dog. She had somehow understood “Will you please wash my dog,” and apparently didn’t find that a strange request at all.

The next evening, after we’d been talking over a bottle of wine for hours, it seems she’d had enough of my apparent indecisiveness, took the wine glass out of my hand, put it down, and leaned in for a kiss.

That was 26 years ago. We’ve been married 23 years. (/u/DaytonaDemon)

8. Find something that excites you.

(He’s the introvert) he kept coming in to the bar I worked, and I kept asking him questions trying to get a conversation going. But l kept hitting a wall! For 4 days all we did was:

me: question.

him: answer

me: …

me: question.

It didn’t stop me from trying though. (It confuses me to think back on, because I was also very annoyed with him!) But anyway. After asking about so many things, I finally on day 4, asked him about books… and the boy never shut his mouth there after!

So to all introverts out there: asking questions is difficult, but you’re all passionate about something, whatever it is. Lead the conversation towards that one subject, that you feel confident talking about. Then all the rest will come more easily.

I can’t believe my husband didn’t ask “so do you read any books? Who’s your favorite author?”, when he’s so passionate about them! (/u/flyingmops)

9. On the bus.

On the Greyhound.

During my time in the Army I was stationed at Ft. Eustis, VA. On my way home (Denver, CO, at the time) for Christmas I saw her sitting across from and slightly behind me. Honestly, I didn’t pay much attention to her at first, but my buddy, seated next to her, did. After getting shot down repeatedly for a day and a half, he finally got off the bus. Shortly thereafter she came over and sat next to me and we started talking.

After that we got split up (put on different buses) and I kicked myself for not getting her number. Then, when the bus stopped in St.Louis, there she was standing right there in the entrance, almost like she was waiting for me. If my bus had arrived 15 minutes later Id have never seen her again.

Then I found out the bus to Denver was delayed due to snow, and wasn’t going anywhere for at least two days. She hurried over to the ticket counter and had my ticket changed to Des Moines, IA (where she was going) so I wouldn’t be trapped in St. Louis for two days. We spent the next four days getting to know each other, then I continued home. We had a long distance relationship for about six months until I came home permanently, by which time she had moved to Denver and rented an apartment.

We got married three years later and have been together 10 years total. (/u/kevon87)

10. Walk the dog

I was living in a duplex with some friends. One day I decided to take one of my roommates’ dog for a walk, which I never usually did. Shortly after leaving the house I was stopped by a girl who asked “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” I had never seen her before, but it was enough to start the small talk.

She helped me walk the dog around the block and we were basically inseparable from that point on. WHAT MY INTROVERT SELF FAILED TO NOTICE AT THE TIME: She had been “stalking” me for weeks, trying to get me to notice her. Walking her own dog past my house, riding her bike next to my car, waiting for me to get home from work when I would unknowingly street park in front of her house where she would be “doing yard work”. She succeeded by catching me walking that dog which, remember, I NEVER EVER DID, it was fate I guess. 6 months after meeting her I moved out of the duplex and 5 houses down the street, lol.

Married 16 years now. (/u/Kalfu73)

11. Volunteer

Volunteered in Thailand to work with elephants. I was one of only two guys with 18 girls (volunteering is very often dominated by compassionate, smart women, especially if it involves animals). My girlfriend is an absolutely beautiful, amazing girl that is now a vet student. We are completely in love.

I recommend volunteering to anyone, and especially to people who are depressed and lonely. It is rewarding and if you’re not a shit person, you will meet amazing people and​ have amazing experiences.

Edit: I know this is a late edit, but I wrote this when I was tired and now I’m remembering how we met. I said we’re in love and I just get warm every time I think about her. The night it became obvious we liked each other, she broke my finger. Well, that’s what I tell everyone, by the truth is I was carrying her up some stairs to a movie theater and tripped. She landed on my hand on the corner of a stair and basically shattered my knuckle. I ignored it, we skipped out on the movie with the group and had drinks on the roof.

It was one of the best nights if my life. I never told the instructor I broke my pinky because I didn’t want to get sent away and miss the rest of the trip with her, so now I can’t bend it all the way… It’s permanently disfigured. I love it because it’s such a good story and reminder of how much fun we always have. Hmm well, I tried to upload pictures of my broken finger and​ the two of us but it ain’t working. Oh well. (/u/sqectre)

Written by Case Kenny

Case is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of and the host of the New Mindset, Who Dis podcast. Reach him at or @case.kenny on Instagram.

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