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How to feel better about yourself (a simple mindset shift)

How to feel better about yourself - mud face

My name is Rob Fajardo and I have come to learn that there is no destination… life is all about the journey.

I am on a mission to inspire my generation to become the best version of themselves, teach my peers how to feel better about themselves and create things that matter through my weekly Facebook Live TV show – Leave Normal Behind.

Over the past 23 years I have learned that divine timing is a real thing. I have learned that there is so much inherent value in the fact that days are 24 hours long and no matter what you do, you cannot speed up the days.

More importantly, I have learned that you are certainly not entitled to your dream… right away.

This is in direct contrast to what I see a lot of my peers struggling with – their self esteem and sense of self worth as a result of not embracing the struggles of the journey. I have seen my peers and other like-minded, driven individuals get down on themselves because they are impatient and not seeing immediate results in their life, career, project, etc.

My experiences have taught me a thing or two about how to deal with this low self esteem mindset.

To know how to overcome low self esteem, you have to shift your perspective.

The amount of days spent towards consistent effort against a goal is a nonnegotiable variable in the equation of success. End of story. You cannot skip this.

It is this simple phenomenon that most people do not understand but that I have come to become acutely aware of over the past couple of years.

To overcome negative self image, simply find a new perspective of your journey and realize that it is just that… a journey.

Think of this:

  • the current number of days you’ve given consistent effort towards your passion and purpose vs. the total amount of days you have left to live with the opportunity to grow more

When you think of life in this way you realize that thinking long term is much more beneficial and also feels a whole lot better! It makes you feel a lot better about yourself in the immediate and should amp you about the future.

Thinking long term helps remove the pressure you are putting on yourself to accomplish NOW and rush yourself as a result.

By taking the immediate pressure off yourself and embracing the journey, you are free to better yourself and able to free yourself from negative self imagine or frustration.

These are 5 keys to bettering yourself (and feel better about yourself in the process if you’re feeling discouraged).

How to feel better about yourself - frustrated kid

#1. Stop rushing.

Feeling rushed is a feeling that neither benefits you nor brings you closer to your goals. In fact, rushing deters your swiftness because it clouds your vision and does not allow you to think clearly or make critical decisions.

I used to be the biggest culprit of feeling rushed.

At 23 years old I was always very focused on all the people who were more successful than me.

After some wise advice of some mentors I learned that feeling rushed is just an illusion and that if you put in the real authentic work, then your time will come. It’s only a matter of time.

When you’re meant to be on the main stage, things will happen serendipitously and seemingly without effort.

That alignment is the art of living which takes practice. You cannot take away the deep inherent value of practice.

#2. You need to practice… and practice… and practice… and practice… and…

If you want to become a world class expert then you need to practice at it for years.

That’s just a fact.

You cannot just show up and say I am entitled to this. It’s like painting seeds. There are natural cycles in growth that are out of your control and all you can do is all that can be done each day..

If you are aware of this then you will be more content.

As the wise Jim Rohn says, “Nothing is easy or hard .. Thinking makes it so. However, all things are simple when you know what to do. Add more of the good stuff and get rid of the bad stuff. It’s not how things are that determines our reality, it is how we THINK things are that determines the paradigm in which we live.”

We must first be comfortable with all the things we want and the responsibility that will come with it.

#3. Realize that you cannot attract into your life anything that you are not ready for.

Shawn Achor, leading happiness psychologist and author of The Happiness Advantage identifies three predictors of success:

Belief that your behavior matters
Social support network 
Use of stress as a challenge… not a threat

He also found that If people view work as:

Job – you will just do it and usually give bare minimum effort.
Career – will do it for a long time and you typically want to be above average and will improve your skills.
Calling – work is self-expression and you see the job as a source of life and engagement.

#4. Determine if what you are doing now is your job, career or calling.

Doing this will provide self-awareness of where you currently are in life and your path of self-fulfillment.

I realized that my calling was helping others leave normal behind and become the best version of themselves by creating things that matter.

Helping others step into their inner genius and become more of what they already are is my purpose.

Once you find this alignment, you have a north star to give you an unwavering direction and sense of what’s needed to accomplish a goal in life.

Remember it is simple to change if you wish to find more motivation and amplify your life.

#5 Bettering yourself is as simple as going from a “Fixed Mindset” to “Growth Mindset”.

Interpret challenges not as roadblocks, but as opportunities to stretch yourself.

To move from being excuse-oriented to SOLUTION-ORIENTED, use language of growth like “I may not be able to do it now but I will learn to in time

Finding motivation requires three essential elements:

Autonomy – the desire to direct your life.
Mastery – the urge to make progress and get better at something that matters.
Purpose – the yearning to do what you do in the service of something larger than yourself.

The combination of being autonomous, wanting to master something, and being driven by purpose is the most perfect recipe for motivation.

Leave Normal Behind and become the best version of yourself by creating things that matter.


Make sure to tune into LNB Tv on Facebook live from the Leave Normal Behind Facebook page Monday 8pm ET where we talk about trending topics in news, business, innovation, technology, social impact, and more to bring you authentic news that shift daily conversation.

Get in touch email me at rob@leavenormalbehind.com

in your inbox everyday at 10am CST.

No fluff or "pie in the sky inspiration." Just real stories.

Written by Rob Fajardo

Rob Fajardo is the founder of the Leave Normal Behind movement and host of LNB Tv, a Facebook live television show that discusses trending news in business, technology, innovation, social impact, and more from a millennial perspective. The purpose of Leave Normal Behind is to inspire you to become the best version of yourself and create things that matter.

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