Haha! You clicked on this article to open it. I knew that title would work.
Which brings me to my next point: what did you think I meant when I said that I used Tinder successfully?
I’m guessing a lot of you may have jumped to the conclusion that I hacked the Tinder code. That I somehow figured out the art of Tinder based seduction and am now going to share those secrets with you.
What if instead I told you that I didn’t use Tinder for facilitating flyby hook-ups and one night stands? That it was the launchpad for my current serious relationship.
Woah. Get out of here Konrad.
How could someone actually be involved in a serious relationship with another person they met on a sleazy app clearly created for the sole purpose of facilitating promiscuity?
How could any decent human being foster a meaningful connection through a one second judgmental swipe on a COMPUTER SCREEN?
Well, believe it or not, I did indeed meet my girlfriend on Tinder! A casual bar meet-up (both co-piloted by our bros/brahs) led to coffee led to dinner led to drinks led to a series of dates led to #FBO. And we are now in what could be considered a “serious” relationship.
Our personalities clicked from the first moment we met, and somewhere along the way we both kind of forgot the trivial logistics by which we had been connected. Logistics which, ironically, I am now revisiting in a very public forum.
Since Tinder’s inception in October 2012, there have been countless articles written about the pros and cons of the app. Pieces about how it’s changing dating culture, how it represents Gen Y and and now Gen Z’s seemingly shallow, vapid hook up culture, how it’s good, how it’s bad, how it’s entertaining, how it’s funny, how it’s dangerous, and so on and so forth.
A lot of men choose to use the app exclusively as a platform for hooking up. Like the vigilant, bottle service infused path to play (I’m trademarking that phrase), this avenue can definitely yield successful results.
However, my goals were little a different. If you asked me to articulate them five months ago, I would have said I “wanted to meet new, interesting people and see what happens.” I really didn’t have any pre-defined agenda.
Is my case an exception? Perhaps. But am I the only person in a serious relationship whose embers were first kindled on Tinder (see what I did there?)? Definitely not. One of my best friends from high school also met his girlfriend on Tinder, so there are at least two people.
Here’s what I’m getting at: Tinder can be whatever you want it to be. If you choose to only swipe and never message any of your matches, it will just be a tool for self validation. If you choose to flirt with your matches, but never pull the trigger to meet up with them, it will remain an interactive forum for online confidence boosting. However, if you have the courage to take that next step and actively message and meet up with people, the possibilities are endless.
Ultimately, it’s a numbers game, and, because of this, if you want to develop meaningful connections it may take longer and require you to take more risks and put yourself out there more often. Perseverance is the trait that will help you succeed on planet Tinder (and planet Earth).
Have I convinced you that it’s worth a shot? Good… because it is. At the very least, it’s entertaining and delivers some laughs. Now once you commit to using the app, don’t set your expectations overly high, but leave some room for romantic hope. Like Gandhi once said, “Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.”