Recent Discovery: I Am Alive

Just because your living doesn’t mean you’re ALIVE

Wasn’t until recently I realized that I am alive. Stupid right? Every second of every day, someone, somewhere is taking life for granted. Someone, somewhere is merely getting by and not even taking the time to stop and look up

Not too long ago I went to see a play with a friend. She leaned over to me and said, “one of my favorite things about theaters are the ceilings.” I looked at her confused and said, “what?” She looked at me and pointed up. “what, you never look up when you go to theater?” Then almost instantly I ran through the list of every theatre I could remember ever going to, trying to piece together the ceilings in my head, and soon realized that my answer to that question was, no. This realization stuck with me for the next two hours and fifteen minutes. Throughout the entire performance I really looked around the space and really took in everything this theatre had to offer. The carpet color, the seats, the lights,the color of the railing, everything. After the show we walked into the lobby and immediately I looked up. White. The ceiling was white. We walked out of the theatre and I looked up. The sky was purple. Dark purple. Gray clouds cluttered the sky like I’ve never seen before. There wasn’t a star in sight but yet the sky still had a certain majesty to it. My entire life I have been so focused on what I was walking towards I never took the time to look up. I looked around me. Chaos. Everyone was going somewhere. Cars were roaring, honking and screeching. It was intense.People chatted. Loudly. It all sounded like another language. All together, it was kind of amazing… I wondered how much of this world I’ve missed because I never looked up or around me.

Growing up I was taught to go to school and learn, learn all you can. Learn because people have fought for my right to an education, and learn because a man with knowledge and understanding cannot be stopped in this world we live in.Learn because with an education I will be able to do what ever I want in this world we live in because I will be able to make money. Money will buy me a house, money will buy me everything that I need and everything that I want.And on top of that money will make it possible for me to provide for the family that I one day will have. I listened. I went to school, did my best, took in everything I could. But along the way I forgot to stop and look up. I forgot that I was alive. I forgot to indulge in the things that I am passionate about. I forgot to spend an afternoon doing nothing but merely checking out the scenery with someone I care about. I forgot to look up and around me at everything the world has to offer.There have been many times when I have been aimlessly walking around, not really even having anywhere to go, and even then I don’t take time out and just enjoy what is happening around me. Yes I have had lazy afternoons, yes I have slept in on numerous occasions, but if you were to ask me when was the last time I stopped and actually connected with the Earth and opened myself to something that it had to offer me…. I wouldn’t be able to answer you, because frankly I don’t think I ever have.

I wrote this on an impulse and I don’t even know exactly what I am trying to say, but I do know that tomorrow never comes so I cannot keep putting things off until then. I have to experience things. Touch stuff. Smell. Listen. Taste. and look up. It’s simple. In this life, we live and we die. That’s guaranteed. We don’t have a choice. What’s up to us is what we do in the middle. When I’m old, and too tired to connect with the world like I once could have when I was young, all I will have is my memories. What will I remember? And will I want to remember it?