This is what a true soulmate looks like

Want to make better decisions when it comes to the relationships in your life?

Want to truly know what a soulmate looks like?

I’ve learned that a true soulmate is more than just what’s on your checklist. Ya know… those “things” you look for in someone else.

Kind, supportive, ambitious, funny.

Always there for you, adventurous, down to earth.

6’0 and above? Athletic? An Aries? (slippery slope there lol)

The list go on and on.

Don’t get me wrong… I think it’s great to be specific about what you want in another person! It shows that you know yourself decently well, what you’re looking for and what a healthy relationship looks like to you.

BUT I think it’s time we step back and simplify how we approach relationships by asking ourselves one question and one question only.

Ask yourself this one question:

Does that person inspire me to complete myself?

THAT is the question to ask!

Certainly the right person for you is going to check a lot of boxes. That person is going to be kind and supportive, they’re going to motivate and love you.

That should be a given and those are things you should never settle for less.

But in my experience that’s not the real secret sauce to a soulmate.

A soulmate is someone who inspires you to complete yourself.

To be clear, this is not saying you should find someone who completes you. I don’t think that’s the right way to look at relationships.

At the end of the day, a relationship is still about you!

YOU need to complete yourself and a true soulmate is someone who pushes you to do just that.

That, my friends is what I think you should look for in a romantic partner or a good friend.

Look for someone who supports you, loves you, is kind but most of all who does so with so much conviction and energy that your only choice is to then turn inward and level yourself up.

Find someone who loves you so unconditionally that you then turn around and love yourself in the same way.

When that happens, you have no choice but to move forward and complete yourself. You have no choice but to prove to yourself what you’re capable of doing, achieving and becoming.

That is what a soulmate does!

I think this is such a refreshing way to look at relationships. Instead of going down some checklist and looking for someone who offers you this, that and the other… look at them for what they offer that goes so much deeper than a checklist.

Look at them for how they inspire you to complete yourself.

Coming from a dudebroguy like myself, that is awfully deep but I have found this to be so true in life.

When I took a step back and threw that checklist to the side and instead focused on asking myself: does this person inspire me to complete myself? … things changed!

I found myself not relying on someone to feel complete, but instead I found their compassion and care for me to be the very thing I needed to look inside and improve myself.

That is what life is all about – coming into your own and truly completing yourself.

When you find someone who pushes you to do that, never let them go.

When you find someone who loves you so passionately and supports you so energetically that you start pushing yourself to be more passionate, impactful, creative, carefree and driven – THAT is your person.

THAT person is driving you to complete yourself and is a soulmate.

Let’s go.


…oh PS: I did an episode on finding your “why” in relationships a while back. You might find it helpful 🙂

Written by Case Kenny

Case is the Founder and Editor-in-Chief of and the host of the New Mindset, Who Dis podcast. Reach him at or @case.kenny on Instagram.

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