2013 was a rough year for my facial hair. It just didn’t develop like it should have and Movember/No Shave November was, again, capped off with my baby soft cheeks sitting on the sideline. If somebody asked me why I wasn’t participating I would say that I just joined the Dollar Shave Club and my body doesn’t process testosterone at the same rate as other men and I’m also protesting… (voice trails off into a murmur). Some combination or all three usually did enough to fend off any more lack-of-beard questions. But deep down I wanted to pull the car over, take my facial hair follicles out of the back seat, bend them over my knee and give them a spanking.
It doesn’t seem fair that others get sexy bonus points for having Clooney-like stubble or seem wiser because they have a wizard-esque beard.
I want to be a part of the beardary.And I want to make sure 2014 isn’t a repeat of 2013. We’re in Movember/No Shave offseason and true greatness is only achieved through great preparation. So if you’re in the same hormone deficient boat as me and you aren’t doing all you can to nurture your would-be-beard, you can start now using these tips.
Lay the foundation- Take care of your skin. You should do this anyway but if you exfoliate and use facial lotion with a vitamin B complex it will help your facial hair come out of its pre-teen hibernation.
Eat foods rich in folic acid – This can be found in whole-grain breads, leafy greens and nuts. Folic acid can help grow thicker hair as well as repair hair.
Plus up in other hair healthy vitamins– A, C, E, and B vitamins will all aid in the beard process. With more hydrated skin, a boosted immune system, and increased blood flow, you’ll be providing your hair follicles with the necessary tools to do their job: making your face feel manly.
When Movember/No-Shave time comes, there is no shame in getting a head start. Just give yourself a trim every now and then so that late arriving stubble stays relatively even with the peach fuzz you’ve already stock piled.
Visit a physician or plastic surgeon- Fuck that. We don’t cheat. Leave the beard transplant surgeries to the die-hard hipsters.
These are simple steps that can bolster your beard off-season regimen. And, hopefully, the next time you look in the mirror you can whisper, “I’m coming for you Clooney’s stubble.”
Title Photo Credit: flickr
Photo Credit: wiki